


Grumpy’s Master Plan

by lacepriest



Series: 31 DAYS OF FANON SWAN QUEEN 2015 [10]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-02
Updated: 2016-04-02
Packaged: 2018-05-30 19:03:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6436597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lacepriest/pseuds/lacepriest
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>31 DAYS OF FANON SWAN QUEEN<br/>March 10: How does Henry feel about them? Snow? the rest of the town?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Grumpy’s Master Plan

**Author's Note:**

> With the exception of March 30th (chose not write for the prompt), all other days have been completed.

Leroy truly can’t help himself and he realizes that one of his many faults, other than being surly all the time, is that he’s got a gossipy loud mouth. 

So it is his first instinct to start tolling the bells when he sees Emma lean in and kiss the Evil Queen one early morning. The docks are empty at sunrise which might be the reason the two ladies thought they were alone.

He scrubbed his face and tried to wake up a bit more, shaking off the lingering affects of alcohol and the discomfort of waking up on the ground. What should I do with this info? This travesty had to be stopped. Poor Emma!

He decides he needs more evidence and designs an elaborate stalking plan that requires him to recruit the rest of the dwarfs.

“Miss Swan, I know I said queens do not indulge in pda’s but this is the fourth time in the last couple of weeks that you turn your head when I try to kiss you. Mind telling me what’s going on?”

Emma cringed, knowing she was caught. “It’s just, every time you try, I catch sight of one of the dwarfs. I swear they’ve become like gnomes. I now see them every where!”

Leroy scampered back, cursing for being seen. He knew he should go report to Snow, but something still held him back. He needed a different strategy. 

All the dwarfs gathered around, everyone yelling and throwing out ideas. Eventually, amidst the chaos, a solution was found.

For days, they studied Regina’s pattern. This plan had to work flawlessly, or else it meant one of them would surely end up dead.

After three weeks, they determined that Wednesdays, Regina left Emma’s place usually after midnight. Leroy carefully instructed the others, on strategically parking their cars so that it would leave Regina with only one alternative.

Now they just had to wait.

Regina parked her car and angrily looked at the tree. She just knew her car would be covered in bird excrement by the time she came out. But for some reason, the entire street was full of cars. It could only be some peasant having a party in the middle of the week.

Grumpy jumped for joy when the first part of the plan worked. Now for the second part.

Later that night, everybody’s heartbeat picked up when they saw Regina making her way to her car. This was it! It was time to save the Savior!

Leroy was glad that they had decided to be in position early since this week, Regina had left over an hour earlier than usual. 

As soon as Regina was directly under the tree, two dwarfs dropped a net over the Evil Queen, and the others all converged to ensure the woman stayed ensnared.

Of course, with the raucous they all caused, Emma came flying out with a flashlight and her gun, calling out Regina’s name.

Frightened and caught, the dwarfs all stepped back, immediately letting go of the writhing woman on the floor.

“I swear I will incinerate each and every one of you.” Regina hissed while Emma helped free her.

“Emma,” Leroy growled, “we know the Evil Queen has bewitched you, we are here to save you.”

Snow finally made it out of the house. She took in the scene, catching the tail end of Grumpy’s words.

“Leroy, what are you talking about?” Snow asked.

“Snow, we’ve seen Emma and Regina kissing. We were just trying to help and save your daughter for you.” Leroy explained. 

“We even have pictures to prove it.” Sleepy proudly announced.

The other dwarfs nodded their heads.

“Mom, did you put them up to this? I thought you gave us your blessing? Isn’t that what dinner tonight was all about?”

“Oh my god, Snow! You knew?” Grumpy exclaimed.

“Of course she knew, you idiot! You are alive, little man, because I’ve changed. But I can assure you, I will be sending you my dry cleaning bill.” Regina snarled, a fireball forming in her hand for emphasis.

Even in the dark, they could see all the dwarfs tremble. 

“Next time any of you lays a hand on my girlfriend, getting set on fire will be the least of your worries.”

Damn it, next time, I should just start yelling out in the streets like usual.

FIN


End file.
